h1

What is true love?

June 20, 2008

What is true love?
I can picture the day.
Rice flying, a limo pulling up to take her and me to
the airport,
white clusters of flowers on the pews,
tears in my eyes, in lavender chiffon….
Oops. That’s an important part, huh?
 
 
L O V E
It’s a commonly thrown around four-letter word.
“I love macaroni and cheese.”
“I love Vanilla Ice.”
(Remember that?)
Sometimes, even an
“I love him”
or
“I love her.”
 
 
What is real love?
And is there a difference between that and the
heart-pounding adrenaline rush I feel when I see…?
You know the person I’m talking about.
That hot guy playing basketball at the gym…
the cute girl who makes eye contact as she passes
by…
the friend of a friend of a friend…
maybe a best friend.
It’s that person we keep track of when he or she
is in the same room,
whose comments and actions we analyze to no end.
There are a few things love isn’t.
Love isn’t a feeling.
Although real love is often accompanied by strong
feelings,
love does not equate with the sense of floating on
clouds.
Unlike the type of love that movies, television,
and songs portray, people in love don’t
always feel ooey gooey around each other.
A relationship wouldn’t last long on emotions.
In fact, knowledge is the basis
of a healthy relationship.
Knowing about the other person is key.
I used to and sometimes still do
“fall in love”
with girl that I have never had a conversation with,
whether it be a movie star in the latest romantic
drama or the girl sitting behind me in a class.
I would know his name and his face,
and that was the extent of my knowledge of her.
If I were to start a relationship with her,
who knows where that would lead us!
Knowing about the person’s personality and
character are so important.
One good test is to list the qualities that attract
us to that guy or girl.
If the list is long, we know a lot
about them and like those things.
If the list is short,
we either don’t know a lot about them or
we know a lot but aren’t attracted to his or her
personality.
Another important factor in a
relationship is common life goals.
If the relationship is going to be long term,
we need to be going in the same
general direction as the other person.
If his dream is to travel as an international
businessman and she wants to be a realtor in a single
location,
conflict could arise.
If she wants to live in the
countryside with nature and he likes the hustle
and bustle of a big city,
there are potentially serious problems
with the direction of the couple’s lives.
Love isn’t sex.
That statement alone goes against a lot
of what the entertainment industry feeds us.
Whenever two people hook up in pop culture,
they have sex.
Without showing some of the unpleasant realities
of premarital and extramarital sex,
it is drawn up to be a wonderful,
fun recreational activity.
Sex is created for marriage–
a long-lasting commitment
between a couple.
Outside of marriage, sex can have harsh consequences.
Pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, guilt,
insecurity, and shame can follow.
A relationship based on lust can only last
as long as the two are physically close
and find each other sexually attractive.
Love is a choice. It’s a commitment.
Although feelings will accompany love, and although
sex will be a part of marriage, a lasting,
healthy relationship cannot be based on these things.
The Bhagwat Geeta, Kuran & Bible says that
God is love.
God, as our designer and creator,
made us with needs for love.
Do you ever wonder why we constantly seek love from
others
but never feel completely satisfied?
It’s because God designed us for an
unconditional love, and we, as people, are flawed.
People, whether friends, family,
or your significant other,
will invariably let you down at some point.
God wants us to find our need for
love and acceptance in him first.
One person cannot meet all our needs,
even if he’s funny or she’s thoughtful.
We were made for God’s love,
and God’s love alone can fill that need.
Only after experiencing and knowing the
unconditional love that God has for us,
the love that drove God to send his Son to die for us
on earth,
can we begin to love others with the same quality of
unconditional love.
TRUE LOVE 101%
What does it take to be that significant other?
Infatuation
Sees the other person as perfect
Wants to get own needs met; selfish
Spends all time with the other person
Quickly “falls” for the other person
Other relationships and friendships deteriorate
Dependence on the other person causes
Jealousy frequently
Lasts for a short period of time
Distance strains and often puts an end to the
relationship
Quarrels are serious and common
Quarrels can seriously damage the relationship
 
 
Love
Sees the other person’s flaws and still loves them
Wants to serve the other person; selfless
Still spends time with others
Takes time to build the relationship
Other relationships and friendships grow stronger
Trust and understanding results in less severe and
less frequent jealousy
Encompasses a long-term commitment
Survives and sometimes is strengthened because of
distance
Quarrels are less serious and less often
Quarrels can strengthen the relationship
Infatuation can be so tempting.
But the question is, do I want a lasting,
satisfying relationship?
If so, infatuation isn’t the answer.
Look at your relationships through the grid above.
Infatuation isn’t a bad thing,
as long as we don’t base a relationship on it.
Perhaps finding real love begins with God,
the one who created relationships.
Now making relationship is also difficult one,

13 comments

  1. long time. good u are back.


  2. Bharath, I wondered what had happened, where you had disappeared. This time it has been a long break. Hope you don’t take off again!


  3. Fabulous, really very nice phrases about true love-an unconditional love

    Your thoughts are similar to a great lover- Rumi, he was a sufi mystic. In his poems we came to know about unconditional love.

    Here I want to share with you some phrases about love, which I extracted from gurumaa.com:

    “Man can never blossom without love, everyone is looking for love and yet one hardly attains it. In name of love you know about infatuation, attraction, sex, possessiveness, clinging only. Word love has been exploited in such a way that today right from ice-cream, to man and woman, from money to other dead things we love everything. Love is not a feeling but a blessing, which can be experienced only by blessed one.”


  4. @Xylene. Yes it was long time.. Oh! I have so much to read & write. Thank you for your message.


  5. @Nita, I had few serious problems.. So there was no time for reading or writing on blog… Hope this time I donot dissappear.. Thanks.


  6. @Rose, Yes love is blessing.. That was lovely quote you have shared here. Many many thanks.


  7. Nice! Nice! I particularly like this one as i recently fell victim to cupid’s arrow, again! :D
    Adding you to my blogroll! No puns intended, but I Love your blog! :D


  8. “Love is a minefield. You take a step and get blown to pieces, put yourself back together again and stupidly take another step. I guess that’s human nature. It hurts so much to be alone that we’d all rather blow up than be single”.

    “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres”


  9. Liked your style.. keep them coming! :)


  10. Adding you to my blog roll! hope its okay with you! :)


  11. Thanks Nikhil.


  12. Thanks Reema

    Thanks Sakhi


  13. a lovely posting…

    love is a pearl of great price, u sell all u have to buy…

    http://www.last.fm/music/Dawn-joy+Leong/Love+-+a+collection+by+Dawn-joy+Leong/LOVE



Leave a Comment